Blog Archives

Extreme Weather Conditions: Not the time to Make Decisions

1/24/2016

Thirty inches! Snowzilla! Records broken. Never again. We just have to get out of here.

But is this the best time to make that big decision to move south? (Full disclosure, I am writing this in the kitchen of the townhouse in Florida I rented for the month of January. So yeah, I missed the big one. Again. Oh darn.)

In AARP Roadmap for the Rest of your Life, I discuss the level of activity scale, a measure of how active you are and/or wish to be.

A healthy, active person who jogs or works out often, works long hours, and is basically a Type A, would score very high on the scale. I then pose the question of whether a person like that would be content to retire to a small, isolated community. I feature my friends John and Andrea who did just that, selling their business where they worked seven days a week. They moved to a small beach community and they loved it at first. After all, they had vacationed there many times. But after building their home, then getting involved in local issues, they needed more. And they missed the day-to-day excitement and aggravations. They missed going out in the evenings, to dinner, to shows, to cultural events. Eventually they realized what they had to do, and it wasn’t move back, it was to open a restaurant. They had never owned a restaurant, so that gave them even more challenges and battles to conquer. They’re happy as clams now and, ironically, starting to slow down. But this time, it’s not a radical all or nothing change. They’re relishing more time with their grandkids. They’re delegating more of the work to run the restaurant. And they spend more time going on trips away, helping them get their Urbanville kicks.

They were lucky and they were persistent. They managed to build a new life for themselves even though their first decision wasn’t the smartest for them at the time. Not everyone has the resources to make the changes they did. But we all have the resources to look at ourselves and know who we are. The tiger doesn’t change his stripes, the saying goes. You’re not likely to change your lifestyle either, unless some outside force causes it (because of an illness or injury, for example).

Now, when the cleanup is starting, is a good time to think about what you’d like your life to be. Now is a good time to reflect upon who you are, what you like to do, where you’d like to be. It’s no secret who you are or what you like to do. Spend a few moments observing yourself. It’ll become very clear to you by what you do in your spare time and what makes you smile. That’s what you like to do. That’s who you are. Don’t judge it, just accept it. It doesn’t have to be who you are forever. It’s now. And you get to decide when you want to change that.

Don’t let a big storm determine who you are. But let it help you reflect on your life.

1 Comment

75 as the New 65? Really? Why is that?

1/18/2016

2 Comments

I came across this headline: We're seeing it in this article, and it's a line we will be hearing more: "75 is the new 65." My initial reaction is, “I know this is supposed to be complimentary about 75-year olds. But damn, we still can’t accept who we are and we continue to discredit age.”

No, my friends, 75 is not the new 65. 75 is 75 and it’s just fine the way it is.

That said, I do get it. I do understand that the writer is talking about older workers (click here to see the article). And, btw, to the writer, Raghav Singh, 75-year olds are not boomers. The oldest boomer is 70, having been born in 1946.

Mr. Singh says that older workers are more settled, focused, grateful, and mindful workers who set an example for younger generations and mentor them. That may be true and I certainly support the notion that anyone who can and wants to work when he or she is 75 should not face discrimination. My good pal, the jobs expert and author Kerry Hannon, continues to write wonderful books and articles helping older people in their quest for work and new opportunities. And as Mr. Singh points out, more needs to be done to accommodate older works.

But I also hope that people who work at 75 are doing so because they want to, not because they have to, although I suspect that’s not the case. Poverty has more than crept into the upper age brackets. Remember, more than two thirds of the people who receive Social Security benefits live solely on those benefits, with very limited assets to boost their income. And the average Social Security benefit is somewhere around $1,300 per month. So many 75-year olds probably have to work just to pay their bills.

Still, it roils me to read that heading. I know many 75-year olds – some of my best friends are 75 – and some do choose to work, either full- or part-time. Some have chosen to retire and are fortunate that they have to financial resources to do so. Neither are more interesting or engaged people. I love the fact that there are many opportunities open to 75-year olds. But they don’t have to pretend to be 65.

I remember when my father was 90 and still hustling for legal work to keep busy. He would lie about his age, claiming to be 78. Who would know, he’d say. Most people can’t tell the difference between a 90-year old and a 78-year old, anymore than those of us who are 65+ can’t tell 35 from 45. We all laughed about my father’s lie but his reasoning was pretty sound: no one is going to hire him for any project knowing that he’s 90+. They figure he’d die before he even got to the second paragraph. Even my father would joke that at his age is didn’t buy green bananas.

To be totally honest, if I was the employer I’m not sure I’d hire a 90-year old either. But 75? Versus 65? While I really hope there’s not that much discrimination out there, I know that’s not the case. People still have this notion of what each age is. They remember their grandparents as being old when they were in their 60s and 70s. They remember or see their parents as old, even though they are just in their 60s or 70s. Yes, at that age we’re not as spry or agile as when we were in our 30s and 40s. But no longer able to work? It’s not as if we’re having to lift 200 lb. weights or climb over walls. Our minds haven’t degenerated, even at that ripe old age of 75.

So mostly I hope that people who reach that great age of 75 celebrate their age. The more who say it loudly and proudly, the more we’ll all understand that 75 is not the new 65, but just 75. And that’s a beautiful age.

2 Comments