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Growing Older Has Benefits when you Accept that You've Grown Older

7/27/2015

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“Don’t trust anyone over 30,” Dylan warned us. Then he became 31 and his tune modulated to include others who had passed that milestone. When Gloria Steinem was asked her age, she responded “40” and everyone in the audience gasped, saying to themselves, “She doesn’t look 40.” Ms. Steinem chided, “Folks, this is what 40 looks like.”
What is it that causes us to shy away from admitting, if not celebrating our age? As children we measured our years in fractions: I remember saying, “I’m 3 and a half!” soon rounding it off to 4. And we do the same much later on: my father boasted that he was not almost 96, he was 95 and three quarters! We had to be something other than what we were: older when we were kids; younger when seniors. The dreaded 40, or 50. Euphemisms for getting older: 50+ or “third age” when we mean middle age and above. You’re not “old” now until you hit 85.

I contend that while certainly there are some downsides to aging, there are considerably more upsides. And not just the hackneyed joke about it being better than the alternative. There are truly great things about getting older, not the least of which is being able to get that Social Security income you’ve contributed to for all those years. And there’s Medicare. As I’ve written before, Medicare is a terrific health insurance program that’s wonderfully affordable. For most low- and middle-income people the cost is just about a hundred bucks per month, not counting prescription drug coverage. Sure there are some things we’d change about the government program: I’d love to see more doctors accept new Medicare patients (which won’t happen until the reimbursement rates are more in alignment with costs). And I’d love to see vision and dental care included. But for the most part, I’m thrilled with my coverage.

There are so many other benefits to getting older once you accept it. Although you’re not as strong and agile as you once were, you get to accept assistance from others. That’s a privilege not a handicap. You’d be amazed at how many people offer to help you when you appear to be struggling. A gaggle of us oldsters were attempting to put up a beach tent and were having difficulty with some of the hardware that had gotten rusty. We just didn’t have the strength in our fingers and hands. But the nice, younger group near us came over and gave us the oomph we needed.

Are you still pretty active? Well, great. The good news is that you can go skiing for half the cost! And it’s free if you’re 85. You can ride the Metro in Washington, DC and the NYC subway for about half, even in rush hour. There are thousands of discounts available to those who are over 65, and younger in many places. Although you don’t have to be a member of AARP, membership brings with it even more benefits. And those just barely skim the surface.

Want some other positives? How about travel overseas? While here in the U.S. we older folks do get some respect, it’s multiplied ten-fold in many other countries where age is revered, not reviled. And study after study has shown that older folks – those of us in our sixties and seventies – report higher self-esteem, greater emotional stability, and a more positive outlook on life than those who are younger. Sure, ageism is alive and well, particularly holding back people in the hiring arena. But more and more companies recognize the contribution older workers can make.

It’s time we start embracing our age. It’s time we stand up and declare our pride in being older.


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Savings Crisis? Many of Us are Vulnerable

6/27/2015

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Almost 3 out of 10 Americans have no savings. And an additional 20 percent have less than 3 months worth of savings. So about half of us are or face living hand to mouth. These figures are based on a survey conducted by Bankrate.com. But they correspond with the Federal Reserve’s study so they’re very likely quite accurate.

And that’s quite scary when you think about it in the larger, public policy arena. On a personal level, I know if I was one of those people I’d be quite nervous. Now, to be honest, I don’t have 3 months worth expenses saved in my bank. I couldn’t just write a check for an unexpected expense. My assets, like so many of us, are tied into investments, most of which are in retirement accounts. But I do have access to those accounts and could take out money if I needed to. For those who are younger than 59 ½, there might be a penalty. But that’s certainly not as bad as losing your home or something equivalent.

These statistics really tell us that way too many people don’t have retirement assets to draw upon. They are the vulnerable ones – those who are one broken-down car or refrigerator away from crisis. They may squeak by and manage to fix that car. But if another event happens, they’re up the proverbial creek. What so many do is live hand to mouth. And by the month or the two-week payday. They also use their credit cards to stay afloat and then continue to carry balances on which they pay exorbitant interest rates. That’s not a smart way to live your life, but again, it beats losing your home.

Chances are most of you who are reading this blog are not part of that 30% with no savings. I’m realistic enough to know that my readership is generally more secure and savvy. But how far away from those poorer folks are you? Are you one broken down car away? One broken down car and a trip to the emergency room? Do you pay off your credit card balances every month or do you pay interest?

When you think about your later years (not necessarily “retirement” since I know many will continue to work), how secure do you feel? Do you think you’ll be in the group of almost two-thirds who live almost exclusively on Social Security? Do you really think you’ll be able to live the kind of lifestyle you want on just Social Security? The average monthly check, by the way, is only about $1500. Can you manage on that? Even the maximum is only about $2700 per month, out of which you pay for Medicare. How does an annual income of $32,000 make you feel?

I’m quite concerned about the future of our aging population, especially with the 78 million baby boomers getting older. I wonder what kinds of incentives we can offer that would encourage more of us to save for our future. We already have tax benefits for storing our income in tax-deferred retirement accounts. What else can we do? And, most important, what can you can do for yourself!

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Nostalgia? Or Just Holding On?

5/31/2015

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Do I sense a big wave of nostalgia these days? New and remade TV shows and movies that take place in the 1950's and '60's. Or do I feel the wave because I’m celebrating my 50th high school reunion? Well, to be honest, no one is actually organizing said reunion, but suddenly there has been a flurry of activity on classmates.com. And a few people I haven’t been in touch with in 50 or 60 years have reached out to me—and I to them. I’ve been emailing with four friends I first went to school with in kindergarten. One of them was my very first love. Oh how sweet. And we were boyfriend/girlfriend from first through sixth grade (she went to a different junior high and we never reconnected until last month). Another of these friends sent me a photo of our fifth grade class. Amazingly he and I could both remember every one of those kids. And both of us were able to put names with the faces. Hell, neither of us can remember what we had for lunch, but we remembered all 30 kids. Zoe, my true love from those elementary school years was in the picture and my wife of 36 years thought Zoe was the prettiest girl in the class. “Well, naturally,” I said. “I’ve always had the best taste.” (That’s why I’m still happily married after 36 years).

Recognizing that it’s been 50 years since I attended high school is definitely a milestone. And it gave me pause to think. Where am I going? What’s next? What’s it all about? Whatever happened to that crazy kid standing in the back of the room in my fifth grade picture? Oh wait, that’s me. I know what happened. 57 years happened. And, just as my parents and grandparents used to say, “Where did the years go?” It was just the other day when I was smooching my first love on the cheek on our way to recess (Zoe smooched me back so it was mutual). When we had air raid drills and hid under the desks to protect ourselves in case of bombs, I’d see her scrunching up too. And I wanted to be next to her so we could die together. The notes we wrote in each other’s autograph books in 6th grade were filled with longing to be together and promises that we’d meet again in high school. Our love was endless and we had our whole lives ahead of us. Reconnecting with her and the other classmates is special.

But the other day I found out that a good friend from just a few years ago died. It happened quickly from pancreatic cancer, the same disease that took my mother 40 years ago. And a dear, dear friend is suffering from a different cancer. I’ve now hit double digits when it comes to the number of peers who have died. These people are not from the older generation, but my friends, my contemporaries.

So there’s nothing wrong with holding on. Or with looking back at those fresh fifth grade faces with lifetimes ahead of them. It’s a great thing to do. It reaffirms how wonderful my life has been. When your wife can agree that your first love was the prettiest girl in your class, you know you’ve had it good.

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Try Voluntourism to Make a Better World

5/19/2015

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Over the years I’ve had much occasion to think and write about voluntourism, that is, “vacating” your daily life to do charitable, volunteer work, while also taking advantage of being far from home and doing touristy things. This kind of travel has sparked a great deal of interest, especially among retirees who make up a significant percentage of voluntourists. In my book, AARP Roadmap for the Rest of Your Life, I relate a story about my good friends, Paul and Jean, Phillips who volunteered in Uganda and have since taken on larger roles with that program and also have gone on to other meaningful volunteer work. While in Uganda they often manage to squeeze in visits to game reserves and cultural activities.

I’ve also had a chance to chat with Rick and Wendy Walleigh whose new book was just released, From Silicon Valley to Swaziland: How One Couple Found Purpose and Adventure in an Encore Career. As the title says, Rick and Wendy vacated their comfortable, high pressure and successful careers to live and work in Swaziland and later, Kenya, to try and make a dent in the poverty levels there. “As we looked around the Silicon Valley bubble we lived in,” Rick said, “We saw a huge population of our peers who could provide great service to society while having similar adventures.”

This is similar to other stories I’ve heard from folks committed to making things better in the world. But what’s different—and remarkable—is the level of commitment they made. They were there for almost 2 years and have made numerous trips back since. And they continue to be involved by serving as advisors—for minimum wage mind you—and on Boards of Directors for the organizations they worked with in Africa.

What’s also different about this book is the level of detail offered, not just about the work they did and the accomplishments realized, but about what it was like for them on a daily basis. It reads almost like a combination diary and travel book, and, indeed, Rick and Wendy were able to explore areas of Africa on their own. Having been to South Africa myself, I related to the sites and sounds they experienced. They spend a great deal of time and space informing the reader about the cultural aspects of the life there which, of course, provides a great deal more understanding to the challenges they faced in their work. They discuss the political unrest, the poverty, the corruption, and the cultural barriers holding back many of the entrepreneurs, seen through the eyes of Westerners who were working with locals.

The driving force behind the Walleighs’ commitment shows up in something they wrote. And that’s something we should all heed. “Gerontologists say that the way to stay young is to stay active mentally and physically and to challenge yourself to learn new things. We intend to take this advice by continuing to encourage others while we benefit ourselves from the experience.” Indeed.


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Consistency, Patience, & Fun in Caregiving

4/30/2015

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I recently read an article about the 3 keys to successful dog training. The 3 keys are: consistency, patience, and fun. So how is that different from caring for an elder parent or a partner? The short answer is, it’s not. They both require those three things. Bear with me here and please don’t think I’m equating the two. I’ve done both and they’re different for sure. But there are those things in common.

Consistency

What do we mean by consistency? For dog training, consistency means positively reinforcing the desired behavior. And it also means not being negative. When you’re caring for someone, especially an elder parent or partner, you really want to stay away from negativity. Sometimes the loved one might be negative, but it’s really important that you try to be as positive as you can with the person. It can be tough when he or she is yelling or criticizing you—as happens all too frequently. But the more you can stay positive, the better it will be for both of you, even when your loved one pushes your buttons.

Patience

Sometimes there is not enough patience in the world when you’re caring for a loved one. But like training, it’s an essential ingredient. The messages you are trying to convey are not always going to be clear—to your loved one or to your dog—but if you are patient and consistent, eventually the light bulb will go on, in the case of training, and your efforts will be appreciated, in caregiving. Patience is also about not rushing your expectations. Take your time, let things sink in, and you’ll both get rewarded with success.  

Fun:

Ok, when has eldercare ever been called “fun?” The answer is it can be. To the extent you can make the time you have with your loved one fun, the more you’ll both be rewarded, and not just from the feeling you’ll get having done something helpful. You can actually laugh together. You can enjoy a shared interest or a shared activity. You can have those wonderful conversations you always hoped for. That’s not to say there won’t be lots of frustration. Of course there will be. But to the extent possible, make your time together as much fun as you can. Those will be great memories. And, back to dog training for a moment, when it’s fun for her, she’ll keep looking forward to more training sessions.

One final comment: don’t take this too seriously and don’t carry the analogy too far. It’s just an observation.

 

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Dementia: Suggestions for Providing Support

3/22/2015

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This guest blog was written by Andrew Atkinson, managing director of Ecuva, a UK e-commerce website featuring a range of products covering health and well-being, making life easier and of higher quality.

Dementia is a condition a person has, but it needn’t define the your loved one. Down deep inside the person you knew still exists. Sometimes it doesn’t seem that way, but remembering who your loved one was will help you when you are providing care. Although there are no “one-size fits all” solutions when caring for someone with dementia, here are some suggestions you can use.

Treat ‘Lies’ as Truth

People with dementia aren’t ‘lying’ when they tell you something that you know is not true. They firmly believe that what they’re saying is the truth, even if you know it’s not. Telling them that their reality isn’t real Is not always the best approach. In fact, it can sometimes cause severe stress and panic. Wherever possible, treat someone with dementia’s reality as the truth.

In Holland, people have gone so far as to create the village of Hogewey – a ‘dementia village’ where residents believe that they’re living a ‘normal life’ when in fact those around them are caregivers in street clothing, acting as village locals and shopkeepers while also keeping a close eye on everyone. Since many with dementia have forgotten their age and the current era – convinced that they’re decades younger and forgetting members of their family – Hogewey features houses furnished in the styles and fashions of past decades. Of course, that means that current news and sci-fi type movies might be alarming for someone with dementia so care must be taken to make sure the new reality is not too startling.

Use Memory Triggers

Within comfortable limits for an individual with dementia, you can help to trigger memories by showing old photographs, talking about topics they’re familiar with such as the beach trips they used to go on, an old friend, or asking them to tell you about a specific object that they own.

Again, keep in mind that the notion of time is confusing for someone with dementia. Talking about the beach may bring back happy memories, but don’t correct someone with dementia if they reminisce about a 1970 beach trip as though it happened last week!

Help with Hobbies

Someone with dementia generally still has many of the same interests they used to have, even if they’re no longer able to indulge their hobbies as they used to. Where possible, simplify their hobbies so that they are still enjoyable. For a former gardener, for example, have them perform simple tasks like watering a houseplant, rather than maintaining a garden plot, or for an avid dessert maker, have her do a simple baking task with you.

Stay Active and Social

Given the potential for endangering themselves and others around them, and out of concern for their safety, it can be tempting to want to prevent someone with dementia from doing too much. However, social interaction and participation in activities are important for their long-term well-being. As a result, don’t be afraid to plan short trips to quiet places, walks around parks, and supervised visits to restaurants. Yes it can be stressful for you and your loved one. And it can cause alarm in people you encounter. But most people you’ll encounter on these trips are very understanding, as long as you explain the situation when your loved one says something inappropriate or becomes confused and anxious.

Accept Help

Whatever you do, don’t do it alone. Whether you ask for professional help or for support from your family and friends, remember that you can’t do everything alone and that there’s no shame or reason to feel guilty when you need to take a break.



 

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March 18th, 2015

3/18/2015

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Path of Least Resistance or Path You Can't Resist 

3/8/2015

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The motto for Island Company is

  • Quit Your Job
  • Buy a ticket
  • Get a tan
  • Fall in Love
  • Never Return
 
I learned this as I meandered into one of the Island Company stores, referred to as a lifestyle brand of tropical travel apparel. I was greeted by a young sales associate, Casey, who invited me to sit at their bar and have a drink. A free drink is not something I could refuse, especially in a clothing store. So I sat down at their wicker bar and ordered a beer. I chatted with the Casey, a recent MBA grad who had just taken a job as a Management Intern, about the store, her new job, and about what the company was promoting. The motto was on shirts, posters, travel mugs, etc. all around me. I wasn’t so sure about the 5 sayings—after all, quitting one’s job to get away from it all is not my typical recommended approach to life. But as I read through the descriptions of those 5 bullets, and talked with Casey about them, I understood and began to accept more of the premise. And then I realized just how appropriate they are for those of us who are 50+.

Quit your Job: As Spencer Antle, the creative director and founder of Island Company writes, “It isn’t exactly about quitting your job. It’s about getting unstuck.” How fitting for people who, as has been said, are on the back nine of their careers. What are we striving toward? It’s a great question you need to ask yourself. If you love working, fantastic. Then that’s your answer. But if you’re beginning to think that you really don’t see yourself at your desk or toiling away for too much longer, then it’s the perfect time for you to think about what your life could be like without the daily grind. Get unstuck.

Buy a Ticket: Antle writes, “There are a million dreams we’ve all had, most of which will go unrealized.” Sure thing. And, he emphasizes, unless you point yourself in the direction and actually buy the ticket, you can’t get there. I’m reminded of the joke about the guy who prays to God to win the lottery. After years of doing so, God finally relents and says, "Ok, you can win the lottery. But work with me, buy a ticket!” So buy a ticket to realize your dreams.
 
Get a Tan: Antle means let yourself go but also take the time to find out who you are. Again, a fitting approach to thinking about our later years. When you decide to retire, it doesn’t mean you have to jump right into something to keep busy. It doesn’t mean you even have to have a plan. Take your time, get the tan that locals have, not the one the tourist has. Learn more about yourself as you let go. But don't fret about it. Don't judge yourself or the fact that you're not planning or doing anything. When you're ready, you’ll do something. Time the time to get the tan.

Fall in Love: Fall in love with who you are and the potential of your future. That’s what will allow great things to happen for your later years. Love yourself, your life, and your opportunities. Who knows what's around the corner.

Never Return: You can “Never return” even if you tried. The past is the past and you’re entering the future. Make it as wonderful as you can.

Island Company's motto is pretty good, don't you think? I think so. 

 

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Geriatric Care Managers

2/28/2015

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With so many of us boomers dealing with aging parents and spouses, I asked an expert, Joyce Apperson, to write a guest blog about one of the options available to us: using a geriatric care manager. We hope this article gives you more information and guidance about what they are, what they do for our loved ones, and how to select the right one. We welcome comments and questions. Bart Astor  

What is a Geriatric Care Manager?

A Geriatric Care Manager (GCM) is a professional health and human services advocate who provides guidance to seniors and others in a number of areas. While the professional title includes the word “geriatric,” GCMs actually help clients regardless of the clients’ ages, that is, the clients do not have to be seniors. However, due to the nature of their work, most GCMs perform most of their work with the elderly.

GCMs are skilled at (1) assessing a person’s care needs, (2) creating and implementing a plan for getting those needs taken care of, and (3) serving as the person’s advocate in a variety of settings, such as hospitals, doctor’s offices, emergency rooms, residential care facilities, governmental offices, and more.

How Does A Person Become a Geriatric Care Manager?

There currently are no state or Federal laws that establish licensing or regulations regarding GCMs. Because of that, everyone can call themselves a GCM regardless of whether or not they are qualified to perform care management services.

Therefore, it is important to ask a prospective GCM what makes them qualified to provide GCM services. The best way to ensure that your GCM is qualified to practice is to ask whether they are a certified or associate member in good standing of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (“NAPGCM”).

The NAPGCM requires a significant level of professional experience and education in order to qualify for “certified” or “associate” memberships in the organization. In order to be “certified”, NAPGCM further requires that the member hold one of the four professional certifications issued by third party certification agencies primarily involved with social work and nursing. Most NAPGCM members are social workers or nurses.

For more information about NAPGCM’s certification standards, see http://www.caremanager.org/join-us/certification/.

How Do I Select A Care Manager For My Loved One?

When selecting a GCM, first make sure that care manager you are considering is a certified or associate member of the NAPGCM. That should be the minimum standard for you to apply in selecting a GCM.

Besides that, consider carefully how closely the prospective GCM’s background and experience align with your loved one’s specific situation and needs.

·      For example, if your loved one is experiencing a profoundly disabling medical condition, a qualified GCM with nursing experience may be the best choice.

·      On the other hand, if your loved one has become increasingly isolated, lonely and depressed, a qualified GCM with a social work background could be a great choice.

·      Finally, if your loved one has care needs and is also faced with having his or her financial affairs in crisis, a qualified GCM who is also a professional fiduciary or trustee could be a valuable resource for your loved one’s needs.

Besides these obvious expertise-based suggestions, it may also be helpful to consider whether the prospective GCM’s personality and life experience is a good “fit” with your loved one’s likes and dislikes. For example, would your loved one respond better to a man or a woman, or to a younger person or a more mature person? Would your love one have trouble understanding the prospective GCM due to language, hearing or cultural factors? You probably know better than anyone else which of these factors might be a key to the successful introduction of the GCM into your loved one’s life.

How can a Geriatric Care Manager Help My Loved One?

GCMs assist in a multitude of matters including but not limited to:

·      Medical Management – Attending doctor appointments, keeping open lines of communication between the client, physicians and family members, and helping to ensure that the client is following medical orders and instructions provided by their physicians and other healthcare providers.

·      Legal Matters –Geriatric Care Managers generally have good rapport with local attorneys and other legal services providers. GCMs can refer clients and their families to appropriate specialist attorneys for their needs, provide advice on administrative procedures and what to expect, and sometimes serve as expert witnesses in courtroom situations intended to determine levels of care needed.

·      Housing – GCMs can offer expert opinions and options when it comes to housing choices for your loved one. They can assess the options available, including whether or not it is possible for your loved one to remain in their own home with the proper caregiving services.

·      Entitlements – Geriatric Care Managers generally have expertise regarding local, state, and federal programs that your loved one may be entitled to. GCMs will also generally have the right connections to get the paperwork started and wheels moving to enroll your loved one in programs that can help them in a variety of ways.

·      Socialization – GCMs can provide opportunities to engage your loved one in programs and social activities that they will feel comfortable in and enjoy. They will help your loved one engage in cultural events, religious activities, and recreational activities that help enrich their life greatly.

·      In Home Caregiving Services – GCMs usually are well informed on the type of in-home caregiving services available in each community. After helping to arrange for in-home care service, GCMs can help by continuing to monitor the services and report back to you and your family regarding your loved one’s condition and any changes in condition.

·      Financial Guidance – Some GCMs assist with some areas of financial services for their clients. Depending upon local regulations, they may offer to oversee regular bill paying, and more. They can work closely with the person who holds Power of Attorney as well as the accountant for your loved one to help ensure financial resources are being used wisely.

·      Communication – Many families live across the globe and it can be difficult to get together to discuss how a loved one is doing and what they need. Sometimes families find that having a GCM help moderate these conversations can help to foster a more constructive conversation between all those involved.

Utilizing a Geriatric Care Manager can help ensure that no one person is put in the position of making all the decisions, doing all the work, filling out all of the paperwork and letting the whole family know what’s going on. Your GCM can help you make informed decisions by offering advice and advocacy based on professional knowledge in the field of care needs assessment and planning.

How Do I Know We Would Benefit from a GCM?

There comes a time when you need to decide whether it’s time to find a certified, professional Geriatric Care Manager. If you say ‘yes’ to one of more of these questions, hiring a GCM could be just what you need:

  • Your family argues constantly about caregiving choices for you or your loved one.
  • You and your loved one have very limited support, or no support at all, when grappling with the complexities that come with an increasing need for care.
  • You and your family have very limited knowledge of the issues your loved one is dealing with.
  • You’re burned out and confused.
  • You’re at the beginning of dealing with the issues your loved one faces (dementia, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, etc.) and have no idea where to turn.
  • You and your loved one are not happy with your loved one’s current medical guidance and your loved one is not making progress towards living a quality lifestyle.
  • Your loved one is unable to live safely in his or her current situation without help or change and you need help to assess their needs and options.

A Geriatric Care Manager is one of the best ways to have someone guide you with making tough decisions about things you’ve never had to deal with before in your life. It also helps to ensure that the first priority is the quality of life for your loved one and yourself. Think of your Geriatric Care Manager as the one who helps you “connect the dots” in care needs assessment and planning.

        

JOYCE APPERSON, RN, GCM

Joyce Apperson is a Registered Nurse and Geriatric Care Manager with 15 plus years of experience working with advocating for seniors. She is the founder and President of Caring Connection, Inc., which provides in-home care and geriatric care management in Harford County, Baltimore County and Cecil County in Maryland. Joyce currently serves on the Harford County Advisory Board on Aging. In addition to writing articles here for the Caring Connection's blog, Joyce has been a regular contributor on senior care topics to the County Gazette.


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Ageism is Alive & Well...and Rampant on the Web

2/18/2015

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The other day I was browsing the Internet, reading news stories and such (really), when I noticed a sidebar ad that read, “17 Celebrities Who Didn’t Age Well.”

“Yikes,” I thought. “I’ve got to check this out. I mean, just look at that one picture they had as a teaser. Whoever that is sure looks bad.”

As I suspected, it was all about ageism. I was totally engrossed in the side-by-side publicity photos of young, beautiful people (mostly women, of course, but some men too) juxtaposed with candid shots of these same people 10, 20, or 30 years later. The older women had no makeup and often grimaced. The men had paunches. My favorite disgusting side-by-side was a picture of Jennifer Lopez when she was about 18 or 20, next to one now (she’s about 45). What they showed in the “after” picture was a close-up of the skin fold under her arm. Really? J-Lo was beautiful, no doubt about it. And gorgeous now. But according to this article she’s not aged well because she now has a little fold under her arm?

I’m not surprised. I’m not upset. It’s par for the course. It’s what attracts people to these stories. People love lists and people love celebrities. Put the two together and you got a winner. Just imagine the ads you can sell on the site that shows an ugly picture of Jennifer Lopez, if there ever was one.

I’m reminded of the time almost 40 years ago when Gloria Steinem appeared on a talk show. I was actually watching that day. Someone in the audience asked her age and she replied, “42.” The audience gasped in disbelief. Ms. Steinem continued, “Folks, this is what 42 is!” BTW, some folks have said it took place when she was 40, not 42, but my memory of actually seeing it was that she said 42.

Either way, her point was made loud and clear. We age, we look different than what we did 20 or 30 years ago. We no longer fit the image of the young ingénue. We may still be beautiful in the classic sense, as Gloria Steinem certainly was at 42. But we may not. So what?

Ironically, I happened to notice another sidebar ad for a story that read, “10 Celebrities Who Have Aged Well,” likely from the same website. I decided I wouldn’t bother giving that website another click.

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